The Experience

Throughout studying abroad so many things have happened to me. At the time they may not had been funny, but now they are. Somethings are serious and have impacted my life. So I have decided to make a list of things I will sure take back with me to the United States.

1. I got my finger bit by a taxi driver

2. I did not get let into a club that all my friends were in.

3. I got cussed out at the bus stop in Spanish for sitting there.

4. I thought I was lost when I was only five minutes from home.

5. I called my host brother friend Perro (dog) instead of Pedro(his name).

6. There was almost the over throw of the President on Sept. 30 2010 and the next day it was as if nothing happened.

7. It rainded for two hours and the rain came up to my knees. I thought I was in a flood but this is normal to Ecuador.

8. I had a one day boyfriend I did not even agree to having.

9. I learned that every day words such as huevos which is eggs can mean a males body part. Comer meaning to eat can me to have sex if not said in the right context.

10. I got the Mumps!

11. An international student passed away.

12. I had the best New Year ever in my life in Montanita. I burned big life size dolls, and brought it in on the Beach.

13. I stayed in my first hostal and word of the wise they are not the same as hotels. Bring what you need.

14. I got to perform in a dance concert.

15. I got to do a video for a foundation.

16. I have my internship at El Primer Canal del Ecuador a public television station and I will be working with the reporters. I am have way there.

17. Best of all my Spanish has improved I must say.

Self-doubt

Through out people lives I believe everybody goes through a little self-doubt. For me as the time comes closer for me to go home I am having these moments of self-doubt more and more. I question myself on what I have learned, or if I learned anything at all. I was told that people who are not doing anything never doubt themselves and that self-doubt comes with sucess. I believe that some of the greatest people doubted themseleves once or twice. I know that just because I doubt myself does not mean I do not believe in myself. I think the problem is when I think about what everyone else expects from me at home. What everyone expects from me at school. I try to tell myself that as long as I do what I want with my life I will exceed everyone expectations because I feel that mines are higher than what anybody expects. However, I still get those moments of doubt. The question is what to do when they hit because they will and they do often. I think in my case I work harder. If I feel like I am not learning anything I studying more, I practice my spanish more, I do what ever I can. I have to keep telling myself that I am my major concern. Sometimes I fear I am going to return back to the United States and everyone is going to want to know how much Spanish I learned. They are not going to want to know the things I learned on the way or how I have changed. I do not want to have to prove my ability to speak Spanish every time I turn around. I dare someone who is not my professors test my ability of speaking Spanish when they have no clue the hard work I put into this. I am so proud of myself and yet I feel like it is so much more I can achieve. However, good old self-doubt creeps up, but it is a part of life and I will push pass it as I have done every other time it has hit. I will not let it define me but push me to be a better person and fight for what I want. I do hope, however, that I make everyone proud and do something grand so that I can give back to those who have gotten me this far and will continue to push me. So self-doubt how I despise of you so much, yet I embrace you at the same time for you are my motivation.

Changed

The other day in Spanish class I was asked how have I changed since I arrived here in Ecuador. At first I could not answer my teacher, but as I thought about it I begun to see that the person that left the United States is not the same person returning back in April. I have seen so much here in Ecuador, that the way I view the world, yes the world, is totally different. One thing I have noticed that has changed is my way of thinking about different cultures, and the people that live in those different cultures. I use to be that person that would say "oh that Mexican is an immagrant", or I would say "they do not need to be in my country if they cannot speak the language." I was young, and uninformed back then. I could never think like that again. I understand that people, not just Mexicans, see the United States as a place for opportunity, hope, and prosperity. For those that has not had the chance to leave the United States does not understand the way other counrties view ours. We can be born poor and it not define us for the rest of our life, we can go to school with out having to be rich. Things we over look, people in other countries see them as blessings. I came to this country and did not know much Spanish, it seemed as if I did not know anything, to be honest. People attitude was not as mine was about people needing to know their language.They were understanding, some helped, and of course some walked away, or laughed at me. My point, however, is that my way of thinking has changed. For me I wanted this study abroad trip to be about learning Spanish. I did not know, think, or prepare myself for the affect this country has had on me. Anyone who thinks studying aborad is only about learning the language is wrong. It is about finding yourself, or learning about yourself. It is about learning about the people around you, it is about developing a sense for other cultures. It is about seeing outside the bubble we know as home. Studying abroad is about becoming a better person. I like to think I am a better person then before. So when I reflect on that question what has changed about me since I've arrived here in Ecuador I would have to say everything, and I am glad that I am this new person I know today.

Cultural Differences

I always talk about how things are so different and they are, but I really have not went into detail as to what besides the obvious. I want to talk about the Mothers, the women of Ecuador. As you noticed I said mothers before women, because their first priority is their kids. I know what you are thinking; so is every women's priority when they have kids, but do give me a minute to explain. Here in Ecuador the women stay at home, some quit their jobs as mine did to raise their kids, they clean, they cook, and they cater to everyone needs in the house. I am sure you are wondering what is wrong with that, well nothing until you are actually here to see how much the women/mothers do. My host mom for example she goes to school in the early mornings after taking the kids to school. She is learning English because her 15 year old daughter may go to the United States or Canada for college. She gets home from school only to start cleaning the seven bedroom and six bathroom home we live in. She starts washing clothes, by the way they do all washing of clothes by hand. She then starts lunch for me and her husband. When lunch is cooking and clothes are hanging up drying she starts to study for an examine that she seems to have everyday. Once I get home she brings me something to drink my food and sits down and talk to me. I always try to help but the mothers here in Ecuador like catering to their family their love ones. I feel bad sometimes because I wonder if she is happy, because she does this everyday. Now the kids are out from school and she has more work to do. The thing is here in Ecuador a women prefers to be home with her kids, whereas in the States even if a mother wanted to be home she couldn't because she has to work she has to pay bills. She most likely is a single parent. Here in Ecuador most families consist of a mom and dad. Things are done together; the man is working and paying all bills, the mother is working in the house and making sure her husband, and kids are well feed and have clean clothes. I never knew how much of a role these mothers had until my host mother left for a weekend. It seemed as if the house could not function and slowly it became more dirty and more out of order each day she was gone. Lucky it was for only a weekend. The women in the States are more independent can do it all by herself, and I am not saying it is not true for the women here but in most cases the women will depend on their husband. In that States women go on dates starting at sixteen most of us leave home around seventeen or eighteen, but here young teenage girls do not date at such a young age and if so it is watched. Usually the kids, boys or girls stay home until they get married or get enough money to leave but the usual age is around thirty that the kids eventually venture out and see the real world. these are all big cultural difference that can make a difference at how you approach people. For example if you like a guy he has to approach you. Knowing things like this can make your study abroad experience a lot easier to settle into. Although there are a lot of things about this country that is different from mine I still enjoy and respect it. That's the key word respect. I respect their culture and part of their culture will sure come back with me when I return back to the United States.