Self-doubt

Through out people lives I believe everybody goes through a little self-doubt. For me as the time comes closer for me to go home I am having these moments of self-doubt more and more. I question myself on what I have learned, or if I learned anything at all. I was told that people who are not doing anything never doubt themselves and that self-doubt comes with sucess. I believe that some of the greatest people doubted themseleves once or twice. I know that just because I doubt myself does not mean I do not believe in myself. I think the problem is when I think about what everyone else expects from me at home. What everyone expects from me at school. I try to tell myself that as long as I do what I want with my life I will exceed everyone expectations because I feel that mines are higher than what anybody expects. However, I still get those moments of doubt. The question is what to do when they hit because they will and they do often. I think in my case I work harder. If I feel like I am not learning anything I studying more, I practice my spanish more, I do what ever I can. I have to keep telling myself that I am my major concern. Sometimes I fear I am going to return back to the United States and everyone is going to want to know how much Spanish I learned. They are not going to want to know the things I learned on the way or how I have changed. I do not want to have to prove my ability to speak Spanish every time I turn around. I dare someone who is not my professors test my ability of speaking Spanish when they have no clue the hard work I put into this. I am so proud of myself and yet I feel like it is so much more I can achieve. However, good old self-doubt creeps up, but it is a part of life and I will push pass it as I have done every other time it has hit. I will not let it define me but push me to be a better person and fight for what I want. I do hope, however, that I make everyone proud and do something grand so that I can give back to those who have gotten me this far and will continue to push me. So self-doubt how I despise of you so much, yet I embrace you at the same time for you are my motivation.